Jewish Personal Advertisements
These claim to be actual personal ads from Jewish
newspapers and we kind of believe it -- they're not stereotypes, just weird and
oddly humorous non-sequiturs.
FORWARD:
Actual personal ads which appeared in Israeli
newspapers:
Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan. Write
POB 74
Yshiva bohur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks
same in woman. POB 345
Desperately seeking schmoozing! Retired senior
citizen desires female companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, and krchtzing.
Under 30 is OK. POB 64
Attractive Jewish woman, 35+ college graduate, seeks
successful Jewish Prince Charming to get me out of my parents' house. POB 45
Divorced Jewish man seeks partner to attend shul
with, light Shabbos candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together, attend
brisses, bar mitzvahs. Religion not important. POB 658
Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons, No baggage. No
personality. POB 78
Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar,
exorcism of dybbuks, seeks mensch. No weirdos, please. POB 56
Staunch Jewish feminist, wears tzitzis, seeking male
who will accept my independence, although you probably will not. Oh, just forget
it. POB 435
Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles,
Chanukah candles, havdalah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker. POB 787
Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in
my behind. Looking for American-born woman who speaks English very good. POB 555
Couch potato latke, in search of the right
applesauce. Let's try it for eight days. Who knows? POB 43
80-year-old bubbie, no assets, seeks handsome, virile
Jewish male under 35. object: matrimony. I can dream, can't I? POB 545
I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your
heart to. Share your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets. Confide in me. I'll
understand your insecurities. No fatties, please. POB 86
Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made. Looking for girl whose father will hire me. POB 53