NOW THAT THE HIGH HOLYDAYS ARE APPROACHING:

SYNAGOGUE SEATING REQUEST FORM

During the last holiday season, many individuals expressed concern over the seating arrangements in the
synagogue. In order for us to place you in a seat which will best suit you, we ask you to complete the
following questionnaire and return it to the synagogue office as soon as possible.

1. I would prefer to sit in the... (Check one:)
___ Talking section

___ No talking section

2. If talking, which category do you prefer? (Indicate order of interest:)
 
___ Stock market

___ Sports

___ Medicine

___ Congregants' secret medical tragedies

___ General gossip

___ Specific gossip (choose:)

___ The rabbi

___ The cantor

___ The cantor's voice

___ The cantor's wife

___ The rabbi's wife

___ The cantor's wife's voice

___ The gabbi

___ The gabbi's wife

___ The gabbi's "secretary"

___ Fashion news

___ What others are wearing

___ Why they look awful

___ Your neighbors

___ Your relatives

___ Your neighbors' relatives

___ Sex (Preference: ______________________

___ Who's cheating on/having an affair with whom
          
___ Other: _______________________________

3. Which of the following would you like to be near for free professional advice?

___ Doctor

___ Dentist

___ Nutritionist

___ Psychiatrist

___ Child psychiatrist

___ Mother in law

___ Podiatrist

___ Chiropractor

___ Stockbroker

___ Accountant

___ Lawyer

___ Criminal

___ Civil

___ Real estate agent

___ Architect

___ Plumber

___ Buyer (Specify store: _______________________ )

___ Sexologist

___ Golf pro [tentative; we're still trying to find a Jewish one]

___ Other: ____________________________

4. I want a seat located (Indicate order of priority:)

___ On the aisle

___ Near the exit

___ Near the window

___ In Aruba

___ Near the bathroom

___ Near my in-laws

___ As far away from my in-laws as possible

___ As far away from my ex-in-laws as possible

___ Near the pulpit

___ Near the Kiddush table

___ Near single men

___ Near available women

___ Near anyone who's available - I'm bisexual or just not particular

___ Where no one on the bimah can see/hear me talking during services

___ Where no one will notice me sleeping during services

___ Where I can sleep during the rabbi's sermon [additional charge]

5. (Orthodox only.) I would like a seat where:

___ I can see my spouse over the mechitza (curtain separating the sexes)

___ I cannot see my spouse over the mechitza

___ I can see my friend's spouse over the mechitza

___ My spouse cannot see me looking at my friend's spouse over the mechitza

6. Please do not place me anywhere near the following people:

(Limit of six; if you require more space, you may wish to consider joining another congregation.)
 _______________________________________________

 _______________________________________________

Your name:

 _________________________________

Building fund pledge:

$________________________